im out of my rut. i researched some more stuff...looked up some quotes..read some passages..i should be good to go. now, another all niter with this stupid essay and i will finally be rid of it once and for all. too bad it cost me so much. too bad i forgot how to write essays consisting of more than 5 pages. too bad i didnt start it earlier. then again..what else is new.

ive decided that i really need to go to those career centers, student services, study workshops, you know what im talking about..all those. i so have no idea what i want to do - next year, the rest of my life...so depressing, but comfort in knowing that im not alone.

i am going to study at the library every day. no matter how few the hrs. 1 hr spent here is like...4 hrs spent at home. its just a waste of time there. i need/want to do well on my finals. ive gotten really good marks on my assn's, screwed up midterms (im sure, i still havnt picked them up yet..very scary), and so to redeem myself i will have to exceptional on finals. will study. make me study! (yes you, this is all on YOU). hmmm study buddies for the library? thatd be cool...or would that be more counterproductive?

anyways, have spent about 4 hrs now at Douglas library and am starving...tho shouldnt be..or who knows..still sick, sniffly, coughy, and now my eyes hurt-prolly from lack of sleep and also likely from staring at the puter screen.
hmm will stop by shoppers and buy another box of kleenex..its disgusting: i went thru close to half a box since yesterday afternoon. thats insanity. then..i am sick. 3 ply still doesnt cut it. feels like sandpaper. now so more then before.

going HOME tmr!!! 230 bus. cant wait. real food other than canned soup and pseudo meat. i want my mommy. odd, every time i end up sick i want my mom. a hug or a kiss or some weird chinese concoction she mixes up cures all. or mebbe its just the presence of MOM :) well, will see her soon.

homeward bound. shoppers, then food, then essay. you WILL be mine. grrr..