it's now 4am on a sunday night, and once again i find myself unable to sleep. you wonder how im able to screw up my sleep schedule on such a tight school schedule - 9am classes everyday, and since it's accelerated, i cant skip them to sleep in either. I have no idea how i can be so talented in such matters.

anyway, i find myself really liking to living on my own. i'll admit that sometimes going for days without being to able to rant/talk to others really get to me, but i think that just pushes me to contribute more in class - which is always a good thing i suppose. i like having the whole house to myself: knowing where everything is, creating messes i dont feel guilty about, blasting my music such that i hear it from the kitchen (if only to piss off the neighbours), baking at 3am just because im bored and want to, food shopping for myself, and (even though i cant and everything turns to mush) cooking for myself.

not that i didnt love living with the girls, but im enjoying coming home to absolutely nothing - no people, no noise whatsoever. if i want anything, i have to create it - food, sounds, entertainment, or company. it is a very odd grasp at control but it is surprisingly satisfying to possess it - if only for a little while longer.

despite living on my own for only a month, ive found that my senses have been dulled (or maybe it's just my imagination). maybe i should stretch first before my trips back to TO? food sensitivity is my own fault - coffee being the strongest taste i take in. im using no salt or sauces of any kind in my 'cooking' and usually just use light seasoning, which makes everything really healthy but just very bland tasting. so of course my taste buds are shocked back into existence when i go back to TO and eat out every day for virtually every meal. though my sugar content is the same as always, so yay for me :P

have you ever gone for long stretches of time without talking to anyone, and then thrown back into everyday conversations with others and feel exhausted afterwards - even with really interesting conversations - and think that perhaps you should have done facial-expression stretches first...? ya, me neither :P

restaurants are LOUD and full of SCREAMING people.
but then again, it could just be me not being used to it seeing as how what i "blast" is classical music and you dont really have to listen to it so much as just let it wash over you. so what does that mean? i dont know...cant seem tofind my train of thought. it either has something to do with be MORE sensitive to highs and lows of sound, or that everything seems louder because youre not used to it.
oh wait, thats the same thing.

excellent. time for sleep.